Edward's Secret diary
by inkita2
Summary: This Is Edward's Secret Diary!
1. Chapter 1

Okay… "ALICE HAVE YOU SEEN MY *%^&*! PEN!!!!???"

Right… Lets begin…

Dear Diary,

I was taking a walk through the school grounds last week when I smelled something absolutely deliciously DELICIOUS and then I saw this HOT chick stepping out of a CHEVY! And OMG I wanted her THAT BADLY then she turns up in my biology class and god I thought I was going to EAT HER! But I did manage to help myself and now we're going out. Did you hear that GOING OUT!!!!! I actually mean it I am going out with the world's SEXIEST girl and it feels amazing. Well the last bit is that I can't actually read her mind but THAT'S nothing coz I'm glad she can't read MY mind or she'd have some real bad images in HER head!!!! Yeah and she's human... HUMAN!!! And she SLEEPS! And while she sleeps, SHE TALKS! Like about all this stuff and she called me hot and I fell out the window (Don't tell her I said this or my head will be screwed off and chucked full pelt into a blazing hot fire!)

So I am going out with a human and she might be coming over!!!! I REALLY hope Jasper doesn't kill her. I know he's TOTALLY envious of me because he only has Alice and to tell you the truth I'm getting a little sick of Alice. Yeah she is KINDA cute in a little sister way, but she doesn't belong in the vampire type fantasy she would fit in better if she was in a story about fairies and elves. Maybe the villain would be a dragon because if vampires were in fairy stories the little pre-schoolers would get totally freaked. And they would CRY FOR THEIR MUMMIES!!! Mummy... That's someone I haven't seen for a while! S#!.. if she saw me now.. I don't know what she'd think of me. I think she'd be just a LITTLE bit scared. Well so would anyone if Bella was no-one. Oh I forgot to say, my girlfriend's name is Bella. And She's SOO HOT!!! Heh she was so dumb... she thought I was wearing fricking contacts... Funny. Well she isn't that dumb anymore although she's fairly let's say... unsteady. She falls QUITE often, (Across pavement, down stairs etc.) but I adore her anyway...


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

We kissed... WE KISSED OMG I AM TOO OBSESSED. But I can't tell her that. She loves me way too much to appreciate my overly-obsessed affection for her. (But god! You have to admit she is the most attractive girl I've ever seen) When she came over last week, everything went totally WRONG!!! Rosalie went MAD and even squished a bowl. (Poor Bella) I took her into my room and showed her my excellent piano skills and played her a lullaby. She liked it. That's good, right? ANSWER ME!!! Oh that's right, your a diary, you can't speak...

Bella's friends with Jacob Black!!! Its like through her father. He's friends with Billy and its not her fault she made mud pies with a to-be werewolf as a four-year-old. Hopefully that friendship is going to end... AND FAST! They're not all that close just yet but I can see it coming and so can Alice!!!

But when I thought life was as bad as it could get...  
I realised I was more wrong than I've ever been before.

We were playing baseball out in the meadow. Things were going REALLY WELL. I mean Bella was totally GOBSMACKED at my wonderful skills. She was amazed by the speed and when the thunder and lightning came- well...  
And then it happened...

...The Nomads...

James, Laurent , Victoria...

THEY CAME AND FRICKIN RUINED OUR LOVELY NOT-SO-QUIET GAME OF BASEBALL!!! And then James smelled Bella. So we ran away.

Then we came back to my place. Shared one last kiss then they were gone. And the next time I saw her she was fighting for life on the floor of a ballet studio. What made it worse were the thousand mirrors that covered the walls whish allowed me to see Bella dying from every single angle.

So James had chased her around America then lured her into a ballet studio AND STARTED EATING HER!!! If I was a human I would have cried but I'm not and it was my job to suck the venom out. So there I was sucking venom out of my GIRLFRIEND and trying not to EAT HER....... I was so fricking close... I restrained myself though and then I played THE BEST practical joke on her...

I TOOK HER TO THE PROM! She hates dancing. Hehe.


End file.
